True happiness lies in….

“Mama, I cannot find my shoes,” shouted my five years old boy.
“It is outside. I polished it just this morning.”

“Honey, I am getting late for my office. I cannot find my car key,” said my husband frowning.
“You are carrying it”
“Oh,” he laughed and kissed me goodbye.

My two daughters were fighting inside for some silly reasons and I went inside and calmed them down. I quickly packed their lunches and reached them to school bus. They all waved me goodbye and I waved back, smiling.

I came back home and saw lots of laundries and dishes to be done. The floors needed to be cleaned too. Everyday, the same works would appear magically though I did those things always. I heavily sat on the couch and closed my eyes.

Sixteen years? How did I lose those sixteen years so fast doing the same things everyday? Did I make a mistake getting married? Did I make a mistake when my husband told me to work and keep a maid ? Did I messed up my life? Am I happy?

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. There were wrinkles coming below my eyes and I couldn’t remember the last time I had make-up on my face. I used to dream so many beautiful things when I was a kid and now, I was living a different life which I wasn’t sure if I hated or loved.

I played a music and applied eye-liner and lip-stick. I, then, selected the most beautiful dress I owned. I called few friends who had been asking me to go out with. As I reached the door, I looked back at all the works I had to do and then, I sighed as I closed the door behind me.

As I met my friends, I felt happy and free. I laughed with them and gossiped a little. I promised to be like that henceforth; free and fun – forever.

Few minutes later, while they were talking, it felt different. I was hearing human noises but not the noises I was used to, the noises I dearly loved. It felt like I was not there. I made an excuse and started walking back home.

As I opened the door of my house, it felt like I was recovered from a long sickness. I went inside and picked up the laundries and a big smile naturally came on my face. This was what I loved to do and where I loved to be. This was where people I loved, lived. This was where I belonged. This was my true happiness.

© Tenzin Cheda

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